The Sound of Counting Stars
by QFiction
Summary: "Can I have a story?" "Hm… A short one. What book would you like? "A Mommy story!" [Implied SetoKido]


**TW: Character Death Mention, Cancer Mention. **

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><p>"Did you brush your teeth?"<p>

"Yep!"

"Bowl in the sink?"

"Yep!"

"Got your backpack and your lunch?"

"Yes, daddy!"

"Alright then, come on. Hands around my neck. Can I stand up?"

"Yess."

Footsteps, and a door sliding shut.

"It's really cool this morning. You aren't too cold, are you?"

"Daddy, you worry too much."

"I guess I do."

The tone of remembrance. That tough little huff is so bittersweetly familiar.

"Did you remember the kanji for Seto I thought you?"

"Nu uh. The "Se" part is too hard. And we don't even have to know that yet, as long as we know the hiragana."

"I guess it is hard. What about for Eiko?"

"I don't have to know that one, either." A vague, almost unrecognizable pout.

"I guess not. So what are you learning?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing fun. Just addition and subtraction and hiragana."

"Too smart for numbers, are we?"

"Way too smart. Teacher said we can't count all the stars. What good are stupid numbers if they can't even count anything?"

"Numbers can count lots of things. Eiko-chan. There are only a few things too big for numbers."

"Well, what are the other things? I bet there are actually lots and you're just forgetting."

"Hm… How many pebbles on the earth, how many water drops in the ocean… oh, we're here. Careful stepping down."

A little huff of air as small feet jump onto blacktop.

"Oh, and there's one more thing too big for numbers, before you leave for school."

"What's that?"

"If you could measure love in numbers, the number for how much I love Eiko-chan would be too high to count."

"Herrumph."

"Herrumph? That's not a very nice sound."

"It's an embarrassed sound."

"Hm, already embarrassed by your poor old dad, not even a teenager yet. Go on, your teacher's waiting for you, Miss Too-Smart-For-Numbers."

"Bye daddy! I love you!"

It's the loud whisper of children, as though the other children aren't playing too noisily to hear her. The clacking of zippers and tennis shoes on sidewalk and fall leaves.

"Have a good day!"

The sliding of the apartment door and the buzz of crickets.

"Eiko-chan? It's late, what are you doing out here?"

"I'm trying to count the stars! I know it can be done, I know it can!"

"Well, I can't count them all myself, but I can show you a few of my favourite ones. How's that sound?"

"I guess that'd be okay. I'll keep counting tomorrow."

"Okay, remember where you left off. Come on, we'll sit on the roof."

"I love the roof!"

"Mhm. Careful, watch your step."

"I'm fine."

"You finished all your homework already, right?"

"Yeah, most of it."

"Most?"

"I didn't do the part yet about the family tree because I couldn't remember Mommy's name." The silence of a heart skipping a beat.

"Tsubomi. Seto Tsubomi."

"Subomi?"

"_Tsu_bomi. But if I ever say Kido, that means the same thing. Mommy was Kido Tsubomi for a long time."

"And you're Kousuke, right?"

"Exactly."

"Okie. Star time!"

"Okay. Do you know any constellations?"

"That's like the star shapes, right? I don't know any real ones. Except the Big Dipper!"

"Can you see the Big Dipper?"

"Hm… no."

"Must not be out tonight. They have to take rests sometimes."

"Well which ones _are_ there?"

"Hm… there's Aries, with that cluster, and somewhere over there is Gemini…"

"That one's my favourite!"

"Gemini?"

"No, that star. The middley one. Which one's your favourite?"

Breathing. Heartbeats. Giggling.

"Hm… that one."

"Why that one? What is it?"

"It's… well, it's Tsubomi."

Can you hear the sound of lips falling into a frown?

"Mommy?"

"Yep. Mommy and I used to sit out here like this a lot. And she decided that that star is where we're going to live someday, together."

"But… you're not on that star."

"Nope. Mommy left a little bit early, but that's okay. She's setting it up all nice and pretty and waiting for me. So when we get lonely, we can just look up to that star and know that she's there. Isn't that nice?"

"I guess so. Oh, I think I get it!"

"Hm?"

"If that's Mommy up there, then these stars must be the Cancer constellation!"

One tear hits the roofing.

"No… no, I know that would make sense, but that's not quite it. Cancer means lots of different things. Come on, it's getting too late, let's get you to bed."

"But I'm not tired!"

"You will be once you crawl into bed, Eiko-chan."

"Mm… Still not tired! Can I have a story?"

"Hm… A short one. What book would you like?

"A Mommy story!"

"A Mommy story?"

"Yeah! Tell me about you and Mommy!"

"Hm… let's see… You know how you can't count my love for you on all the numbers in the world? The same thing was true with Mommy, between the two of us, and from her to you. She loved you so much, Eiko-chan…"

A hiccup. Internal chanting, _pull yourself together._

"Mommy was amazing. She was beautiful, with the same eyes as you, and she was strong, but not always. She got puffy when she was embarrassed, just like you do, especially when Uncle Shuuya would tease her. One time, one time when we were little, I got sick stayed in bed all day. Uncle Shuuya convinced Mommy that I had turned into a frog that he found, and that she had to kiss the frog to make me turn back to myself. She chased Shuuya away, but she was really gentle with the frog, and she came right by my window and kissed it, right on its mouth!"

"Mommy sounds really silly."

"At times she was. But she was also smart, and really, really caring and loving. The way she held you, you could always tell you were the most precious thing in the world. And she was rough, and she kept everyone safe, but she was also really sweet and gentle sometimes."

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Eiko-chan?"

Sniffles.

"You're crying. Did I make you sad?"

"No, no princess, it wasn't you. Sometimes I just wish Mommy hadn't gotten her headstart, that's all."

The mattress squeaking, small arms grabbing a thin hoodie.

"I wish that, too. Why did she do that?"

"I…. I guess the Cancer told her to."

"The constellation?"

"Maybe."

"Then I don't like that constellation very much."

"Yeah, princess, neither do I. But it's just another part of the sky."

"Daddy? I think I have a plan."

"Hm?"

"It's to get Mommy back."

"I like it already."

"I'm going to count all the stars, just like my teacher said was impossible. And then I'm talking to meany old Cancer in the sky, and I'm going to say that I am Eiko, and I do the impossible, so he should grant me a wish and tell Mommy that she can go set up later."

"Eiko, that's brilliant!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! I mean, it might take a little while, to count all those stars, so you should continue first thing tomorrow night. You'll need lots of rest."

"Okie! Goodnight, Daddy!"

"Goodnight, Eiko-chan. I love you. Sweet dreams."

A picture frame, lifted from the shelf. Tears hitting the mat.

Somewhere, distantly, the twinkling of all the stars, waiting to be counted.


End file.
